When I was growing up, all the way into my teens, I shared a room with my big brother Doug. There were a couple of short years when he left for a mission and some time for school in Houston but for the most part, my room was a subset of his room. Consequently I was a part of his life in almost every way as he was in mine. Oh this changed as he got older and High School and college took more of his time but the impressions were already made upon me.
I idolized my brother and everything he did. When I was in my teens I wanted to be just like him. But you would never know it from most of my actions. I dropped out of school when he was in college and that was 100% opposite of what he had done in High School. He was a Junior Class President or Class Vice-President. I can't remember which but he crowned my sister Vickie Homecoming Queen since the Class President was on the football team and in the locker room at half-time. We have a photo of the moment just prior to the crowning and it shows Doug licking his lips. We always thought that was so funny and he was teased all the time about prepping his lips to give the Queen a big kiss.
As Doug became more involved at the University of Utah, I saw less and less of him. He also married during that time and the room finally became mine alone. As he continued in college I started to spend more time around him and his friends at the University. I read many of the same books he did and studied on my own many of the same things he did. Of course I wasn't pressured to write papers or do exams but I felt like I learned quite a bit nonetheless. He was very popular as always and I tried my best to be just like him again.
Now I'm 51 and I look back at those times with a different set of eyes. He and I have chosen very different paths in life. I can't quite say when but at some point in time I went from looking up to him to looking down on him. That is not to say I was any better than Doug but only different and my perspective had changed greatly. Now I believe I can see him for who he is and I can appreciate the brother I have now. Many miles separate us from physically seeing each other. In fact it has been more than a decade since seeing him last. One day we will see each other again and I think our eyes will be on the same plane. I know he has changed as have I but I can live with those changes. I don't have to look up to him any longer in order to have self-esteem but I can look at him with the respect an older brother deserves.
Til we meet again bro,
Johnny
I idolized my brother and everything he did. When I was in my teens I wanted to be just like him. But you would never know it from most of my actions. I dropped out of school when he was in college and that was 100% opposite of what he had done in High School. He was a Junior Class President or Class Vice-President. I can't remember which but he crowned my sister Vickie Homecoming Queen since the Class President was on the football team and in the locker room at half-time. We have a photo of the moment just prior to the crowning and it shows Doug licking his lips. We always thought that was so funny and he was teased all the time about prepping his lips to give the Queen a big kiss.
As Doug became more involved at the University of Utah, I saw less and less of him. He also married during that time and the room finally became mine alone. As he continued in college I started to spend more time around him and his friends at the University. I read many of the same books he did and studied on my own many of the same things he did. Of course I wasn't pressured to write papers or do exams but I felt like I learned quite a bit nonetheless. He was very popular as always and I tried my best to be just like him again.
Now I'm 51 and I look back at those times with a different set of eyes. He and I have chosen very different paths in life. I can't quite say when but at some point in time I went from looking up to him to looking down on him. That is not to say I was any better than Doug but only different and my perspective had changed greatly. Now I believe I can see him for who he is and I can appreciate the brother I have now. Many miles separate us from physically seeing each other. In fact it has been more than a decade since seeing him last. One day we will see each other again and I think our eyes will be on the same plane. I know he has changed as have I but I can live with those changes. I don't have to look up to him any longer in order to have self-esteem but I can look at him with the respect an older brother deserves.
Til we meet again bro,
Johnny
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