As I look back towards the beginning of my parenting days, now very close to twenty-four years ago, I wish I knew then what I know now. I know, I borrowed an old cliche but let me continue please.
I have two boys, one is almost twenty-four and the other just about seventeen. They couldn't be more different from each other. When the first was born I was twenty-five and really not ready to become a father. But then who is really ready. But for me being there during the birth was then the single greatest moment in my life. I was soon holding eight pounds of love. The thought of what is next never crossed my mind during those early hours.
Number two son was not to arrive until seven years later. By this time my parenting skills were now honed like an edge of a rusty knife that had just been found in the woods. Needless to say I would be learning once again.
They are quickly turning into young men and remind me almost daily of myself. Is it little wonder they are becoming like me in many ways? After all I have been their role model. Not the best one at times but I was the one they had, for good or for bad. It took me many years to finally understand this simple idea of being a role model. This wasn't something I really thought about on a daily basis. Now there were two boys to measure my life against. I felt as if life was accelerating. The thoughts of my own mortality began to seep into my thoughts thus beginning the motivation to really prepare myself as a better father and a better role model.
What really worries me is I have been their primary role model. I want to protect them from making mistakes like I made. I want what every father wants for their children, a better life than their own. But I can only guide and recommend to them. The choices they make will have to be their own.
Am I glad to be a father? Yes. Would I do some things different? Yes. I believe that most of us would answer these the same way. Is this true for you too? Our lives, in this small world, seem at first glance to be so different but are very similar when it comes down to family. I'm glad to be a father and I look forward to the lessons to come.
