My friend had a small trailer over on Fifty-Third South right across from where the old smelter used to be. The smelter has been torn down and I don't know if the trailer park is still there or not. I can remember him telling me it only cost him $150 a month and the manager didn't care what we did as long as the rent was paid. Well we had a few parties there to say the least.
On one of those parties Dave asked me if I wanted to do some coke. Hell yea I did. This was usually way out of my price range but he had recently come into a bunch of money and was feeling very generous that night. We went into the bathroom, if you can call it that, barely enough room to fit us both in and Dave pulled out the coke. I reached for a mirror and he said we wouldn't be needing that. I was puzzled at first until I saw the needle. He mixed some coke with water in a spoon and put a piece of cotton in the middle of it. I had never seen any of this before and was both scared and excited. Was I really doing this I kept asking myself? Apparently I was because he handed me the syringe and started tying off his arm. I was about to stick a needle into my friend were the words swirling in my mind. I barely heard him as he described how to stick it in and draw the blood in. But I did as he asked. He sat there and smiled big with glazing eyes and after a short time he asked if I was ready. The ritual was repeated in the spoon. It seemed to take longer this time. I was getting anxious as the sweat fell from my brow. Relax dude Dave told me, you haven't had anything yet. No coke yes but the beer and pot was working its magic too. We tied my arm off and just like it was a slow motion movie the needle made its way into my flesh. The blood rushed into the shaft mixing with water and coke. His glassy blue looked into mine once more. I remember it as a cold but still inviting stare. In reality this was but mere seconds but in my reality of the moment time was slow. A frame by frame picture show until the rush. It was utterly fantastic. An orgasm for the mind and body at the same time. Wow! I must have said that ten times. Dave just chuckled as he was preparing another round for himself. This time my hands were shaking with excitement as I moved the needle closer to his arm.
I can clearly see that yes, I was as high as the title of this post suggests. I was lucky I made it through that particular summer alive. Really lucky. In fact we all made it through including Dave. He burned through thousands of dollars going into his veins increasing his quantity and decreasing his generosity. All of us liked getting stoned as I would be lying to say so otherwise. But even we could see the power coke was having on Dave. One hotter than hell afternoon in July I was pulling into the dock at work and there sprawled out on the cement was Dave. I was sure he was dead. His hair was all matted and his clothes were dirty. His shoe was missing from one foot. I ran over to him and started to shake him. At first he didn't respond. Slowly he opened his eyes as he described being thrown from a bus that morning. Dave was done with coke on this morning but not because he wanted to quit. He was simply out of money. His wave of the high life had just crashed and spit him out.
I'm nearly forty-nine now as I reflect on those days. I made it out because my feet stayed planted on the ground. I have found the highs in my life mainly because I have seen the lows. Nothing has ever been like that night in the trailer bathroom. I can really understand why the addicts keep going back. Just like Dave found out you never, never get the first high again. I wonder if during those times was I laughing because I was happy or something was truly funny? Or was I simply high? I know now my laughter, my tears are real. And best of all I can remember what I cried or laughed about. I have been sober from drugs since early 1991 and from alcohol since New Years Day 1997. I'm free to live once again.
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