Parenting Can Be A Nightmare

"Kids are just walking towards death at all times."

This is a partial quote from Jim Brewer's recent comedy show I watched.

As most watchful parents we want to protect our children. But things happen that may or may not be in our control. John was just learning to walk. Wobble is more like it. We lived in a small old trailer that often needed repairs from time to time. The trailer wasn't even fifty feet long. Two small bedrooms, one just to the left and another a few feet down the hallway. I kept tools in a small toolbox in this hallway. This made them easy for me to access and there really wasn't any storage area anyway. Of course I kept it locked at all times until I needed them. One afternoon I was preparing to replace the entire light fixture over the front door. I unlocked the toolbox and started to gather what I needed. John came wobbling along the short hallway and he fell forward in the same instant I was about to stand with tools in hand. One of them was a fixed blade razor knife. John fell right on it slicing his lip wide open. I started freaking out and Donna came rushing over to see what I was screaming about. John was bleeding bad and crying but she managed to get him under control as we headed to the hospital. I continued to freak out. I was such a nervous wreck. Donna somehow kept her cool and was able to soothe John as I drove. She was simply wonderful at getting him to calm down even amidst my hysterics. Even now she has the magic to calm him that I never had.

Son number two Nick is many times more out-going than John. This he demonstrated even when he was small. Before he was three years old we were finishing up at a local Chinese favorite. This restaurant is nestled in the heart of Sugarhouse right on 2100 S. at about 10th E. On any given day or night this is a very busy street. Four lanes of traffic, parking right on curbside of the many many shops that line the street. As we were paying our bill at the counter, a small group of people entered the restaurant. Nick flashed between all the legs and ran straight out the door not stopping until he was on the yellow center line of the street. Without thinking I dash after him. The traffic stopped all around us. Amazingly there was just enough space between the cars that we both were not hit. Nick's playful smile was gone. I believe he instinctively knew he was in danger and stopped.

I feel I have lived my life for these two boys who are quickly growing into young men. I can imagine most parents feel the same. I can't quite imagine what a parent feels that loses a child. But I came close a few times. I can remember my scream, my thought of terror, the flash of possible loss. These feelings I had for both boys were exactly the same for both even though these events were years apart.