I Remember...

It was 1968 or 1969 and we still had the red Dodge Coronet. Mom's brother Dean had passed away and she needed to go to Washington state and settle some things. That part I don't remember too much since I wasn't directly involved. The trip was fun for me since it was just Mom and myself. I'm sure she was feeling a bit different but she didn't show it.

We drove through what was then the highest highway pass in the lower 48. Maybe it still is I'm not sure. Wolf Creek Pass in Colorado was over 10000 feet high. A small two lane highway then. Now they have cut through the mountain and I think it is lower in elevation. But that night we had to pass a section about 100 feet or so long that was a single lane. The outside lane was gone. Washed away in a recent storm. It was kind of scary since it was at night and you could not see just how far down the slope was and if part could go away what was stopping the other half from giving out. But we made it through when it was our turn and continued to Kennewick, Washington.

The other memory of this trip happened at her brother's home. I had discovered a jar of canned cherries. Homemade canned and really tasty. I ate the entire quart jar when Mom happened to notice there were no seeds left over.

"Where are the seeds?" she asked me.

What seeds. I replied looking kind of surprised at such a ridiculous question.

"The seeds from the cherries, where have you left them?"

It was at that point I realized I had been swallowing them whole. Seeds and all. They were so sweet and delicious I never stopped to even think of a seed. Oh I paid for it the next morning in the form of some stomach pain. But I still think even after 42 years have passed, those were the sweetest, most delicious cherries I have ever had.

Ask me anything else about that trip and I won't remember anything else but I do remember these moments. They have managed to freeze a small bit of the part of my brain containing memories and they are still as sweet as they were in 1968.

One Day

I know it is a cliquet but I say it often. One day I'll get around to doing that or going there. Just one day...but I'm now statisically past half my lifetime and there are still many items on the growing one day list. One day I'll look at the list a bit closer. One day I really will.

Letter To My Father

Dear Dad,

I have not always found it easy to talk with you. We talk about the same things each time. We really do not know who the other really is other than I am your son and you are my Dad. I want you to know I have always had great respect for you. I know that being away is not as easy as it looks when there are people you love and care for far away.

When I was young you were serving out country and missed a lot of my younger days. I missed you then too but I was not alone. Most of my friends were in the same situations. So I knew what they knew and it didn't seem different. I am proud you served in the Army and I am glad you did. I too would have served had it not been for the bad timing of my head injury. I wanted to be just like you when I grew up and in some ways I have and some not.

There are to many miles between us now and time moves by at what seems to be an increasing speed. Of course it hasn't changed a bit but we change a bit every day. I wish we could see each other more and I wish you knew my boys better. They are both good boys and I'm sure you can be proud of each of them as I am.

I would like you to know that I care for you and I love you.

Johnny

What I Saw In Those Eyes

It has been said the eyes are the windows to the soul. I saw into one of those windows and it was not good. The words were of love, tears and heartache. Words meant to mean something. But the eyes were only of hate. A dark pool of nothingness. Devoid of feeling anything close to love. I have seen these eyes before. Each time they are the same dark and menacing. Looking but not seeing. Eyes of hate, eyes showing the truth the words cannot.

An Old Goal Complete

Going back to 1999 I embarked on a path to become a Systems Administrator. I accomplished the study part of the goal and earned a Microsoft title of MCSE or Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. This however did not do much to get me a job. I came close to a couple of jobs but was surely passed for the more experienced people.

Precisely one month prior to receiving my certification in the year 2000, Nasdaq crashed and the 'dot com boom' was destroyed. People like me who had been employed were now out of work and competing for the same jobs. And there were not many jobs for these skills. The jobs that survived required multiple skills and that was simply something I was not yet ready for.

I worked for the next year in tech support arenas for small wages. Never finding the satisfaction of having a real career in technology. Soon it was 2001 and we all know what happened on 9/11/01. I lost my job six days later. This would not be a good year for me with employment.

Living in Salt Lake City at the time did open a new door and I stepped right into a new career path, airport security. The Olympics were coming in 2002 and SLC International Airport was a ripe place to work. I eventually found my way into TSA and with TSA eventually to Arizona.

It is here in Arizona after having a goal more than a decade old and I admit long forgotten, I finally achieved this goal. I am now a Systems Administrator for Maricopa County Library District.

I now believe the saying I have read and heard many times before, if I may paraphrase, 'What the mind believes, the man can achieve'.