Monday, April 23, 2012

A Walk With the Kira Dawg

Tonight was one of those rare evenings when the temperature is still 95 degrees but it feels like it is in the eighties. This is sometimes common here in Arizona fooling you into thinking it is cooler than it really is. We, the Kira Dawg and I, started a walk heading West through the neighborhood. The first thought I had just as I passed the driveway was how beautiful the crescent moon was tonight. It glowed a semi-bright golden color and with Venus high in the sky overhead illuminating the rim of the moon in a way that outlined it in a low blue hue.

There were other planets shining too as I had read sometime earlier in the month that they would be showing but the city lights and my lack of astral knowledge will leave them nameless for tonight.

We walked all the way to the end of the neighborhood as far west as we could go without going onto the main roads. Stopping only long enough for Kira Dawg to do the things dogs like to do when passing fresh grass.

As we rounded the corner now heading East, I could not help to notice how dull and dark the night sky had become now. But as we continued it became brighter and brighter. Not from bright stars, not from planets soaring closer to Earth but from giant, no humongous signs flashing every few seconds hawking the cars from the near by dealers. Bright enough to cast shadows and light the windows on the row of homes across from it. I am glad not to live in those homes.

As we reached the end we once more turned West. The crescent moon was lower in the horizon now and glowed a deeper golden orange as Venus had soared farther overhead. No longer was the moon illuminated in soft blue yet it was still brilliant and radiating warmth. As if we needed it here, the perspiration now starting to bead and the dog's tongue was dangling outside of its mouth.

As our journey ended we were both feeling better. Kira Dawg is now sprawled across the floor and I in my recliner. The fan is blowing cool air and the night is becoming still. I would not trade the moments for anything as they only happen once. Moments in time are nothing but fleeting dandelions you try to catch and hold onto. And if and when one is lucky enough to capture one, it will self destruct within a blink of an eye once again confirming time will not rest.

Monday, January 2, 2012

2012 - 01 - 01

Here I am at the beginning of another year. How did I fare last year? Well I'm still alive and I received a promotion of my dreams. I guess that was pretty good so how or what do I do to top that?

Well for starters I plan on improving my health as an overall goal. I have said every year I am going to lose weight but weight is but one component in the plan. I did lose weight last year but on a daily basis feel worse than last year minus some back pain. Oh it is still around just not on the Richter scale as high as before.

Today was a great day overall. Donna and I attended a bash at  a friend's home  where the guest of honor was slowly being smoked from an open fire. Mmm...good. The last big feast for this guy this year. I am pledging to a healthier life and diet starting now. Many thanks for Glynn and Linda Dunbar for inviting us. Here is a picture of the guest of honor.

I almost forgot that last night marked a milestone in my life, fifteen years of complete sobriety.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Milkbones

Milkbones are a favorite treat for Kira, our dog. But I play a game with her before she can just get the bone. From the moment I get it she is transfixed on the prize since it starts when I dig for several seconds to find the perfect bone. She sits eyes glued to the box. Then we proceed to play our version of 1on1. If I can sneak the bone past her paws across the tile I win. She is a pretty good goalie. This simply never gets old.

Tired

At age 51 I am feeling extremely tired just after 7:00 PM. The Dr. said I was deficient in vitamin D. So I take it twice a day as prescibed. But I think it is also a sign of depression. I didn't work today because of this and a massive headache to go along with pain this morning.

Is this the way I want to start a new year? I don't think so.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Dark Thought

I have the feeling today that I am imprisoned within my mind. Tears came from my eyes as I stared into the screen thinking nothing as I was nothing to anyone, at that moment. Life is but a series of thoughts and random feelings entwined with others as we move about life. I know now I am in a chasm, slick sided and dark in its depths. I have the number and a friend is urging me to call. I can't bring myself to do it yet. I have not suffered enough for the pain to create action. I am frozen in my own mind.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Souls

The soul can live within many contexts. The heart lives in just one. Break the heart and it dies. Break your soul and you die many times over and over and over.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Love Of My Life


I was eighteen
she was nineteen
we dated.

Passionate
short
full of memories.

She dumped me
perhaps it was the shorts
full of holes they were.

I was crushed
for a while
but I moved on.

I did not forget
Nor did she.

Our poisoned love would languish
a year and plus more passed by
she called.

Trouble hanging around
she trusted me
I went to her
she felt safe.

Trouble arrived
showing
on schedule and on time.

I told him to not return or else

I held her close in my arms
that night and several more
she enjoyed my strength
her sense of safety.

We were together again
her place became mine
and soon another became ours.


Time passed and the love grew
the love wained
as love will do
we parted once more.

Returning
once again to Love
repeating the parting
only this time
seemingly final.
Miles of Earth
many states
stood between our Love.

The phone beckoned our hearts
we talked
again and again.

Will you marry me?
I asked on the phone
Yes she replied.

We wed
February 1985
the ninth
before a Judge in
Gaffeny, South Carolina
he was paid
twenty-five dollars.

Wine was shared on the return ride
a small celebration ensued
we loved again
we loved again.

We were young
we became parents
John was first to share the love.

Responsible
nurturing
yes
but not to our love.


Separation
hearts broken
distance once again
between the love.

Love endures so they say
a year passed
another gone by.

We grew
we endured
together again
loving once more.

Love to share
Love to bare
wondrous beautiful love
became known as Nick.

Young and naive
proud we were
unable to nurture
our own Love
once again.

Yes once again
heartache
pain
hurtful words
meaningless days
wasted time.

Once again Love endured
Love rekindled
as a flicker then a flame.

Candles to life
lighting the way
to enlightenment
to joy
to sorrow
the flame waned.

More happiness
more pain.